It's ten days until Christmas. The darkest night is looming before us. I keep trying to focus my energies and start a new project but my attention span seems to waver and drift.
I have ideas, new projects that I want to work on, but I can't seem to focus my attention for longer than a brief time. Maybe it's the darker energies. Maybe it's just that too many other things are going on. I have my final weekend of markets. I have presents yet to buy and to wrap. We have the maze of blended families to navigate and survive.
The holiday season has felt overwhelming and muddled for as long as I can remember. I think I enjoyed the unknown mystery and magic of the season when I was a small child. I remember making cookies with my mother and grandmother. I remember the heady anticipation of magical gifts from an overgrown elf, but all of that feels like another lifetime.
I worry that my children won't like their gifts. I worry that all the emotional tension will explode in unseasonal disarray. The colder weather leaves me shivering and bundled up. I don't do well in chilly temperatures. I don't like short days. I long for sunny days and warmer temperatures. Arctic blasts and I do no get along.
I want to end the new year on a productive note. I want to manifest hope and beauty in the new year, but I can't seem to muster the creative spoons to start. There's a Ziegfeld Follies Kitty project I want to start as well as a few altered animal projects. I need to make something with tentacles. I've had a long time itch to work on a Baba Yaga cottage. There's a new oracle or three that I want to work on, but the projects jumble and tumble in my brain. I can't seem to organize anything like a plan to action.
Maybe the best I can do right now is maintain. I can work at setting my intentions. I need to select one thing; one big project to focus on as the new year dawns; one dream to manifest and bring to fruition in 2021.
It's been a long hard year. Even the weather has sabotaged almost every market of the holiday seasons. The pandemic numbers keep going up. The tension in our country seems ready to burst. We all need a collective break. We all need something fresh and sparkly and full of promise.
I long for you to come and go, Dark Night, so that I can look again toward the light. I need fresh hope. I need for the darkness to recede and for the light to come again. I need to collect my Creative Spoons and start to stir again the proverbial cauldron of my imagination. I need to manifest something beautiful in a fresh new year.
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