I don't necessarily have the best business sense. I can't predict what art will sell and what will just sit on the shelf, unnoticed and gathering dust. I tend to follow my intuition and creative impulses. Sometimes those pieces resonate with the audience and sometimes they just fill a void that was missing in my own psyche.
Much of the art I create is just me processing my emotions or even just trying to make sense of a dream or shamanic journey. Sometimes that leads me to something transcendent that seems to spark with many other people and sometimes it's a just a dead end in a back alley. Either way, it was something I felt I needed to create in that moment so I followed that impulse.
Some days I feel like I am just screaming into a void; that nothing I am creating is resonating. In my darkest moments, the void seems to be staring back like Nietzsche's Abyss. I've learned to let those dark feeling flow through me and away; I try not to let them take root.
I put my faith back into the possibilities of an infinite Universe. My tribe is out there and sometimes I connect but other times I just don't.
I do love the rush of a new creative idea; something that seems to check off several of my boxes. I like the dreaming and the scheming on how to get something to work; discarding and adding elements before I've so much as resourced supplies or picked up a paintbrush.
I think it's the possibilities that bring me back around and from the darkness. I don't truly believe it's all just a void or an abyss. I think there is something more; something gazing back at me with love and faith. I just need to let go and trust that someone will be there to catch me if I fall or falter.
I love you and I believe in you. I need to remember to do the same for me.