Change Your Story, Improve Your Life
Let me begin by saying that the Death card is not a card about death. The Death card is a card about change. Change is inevitable. Change is evolution. Metamorphosis can be a positive thing.
I spent the past week at a retreat, meditating about what is blocking me; what is keeping me feeling like I'm standing in place no matter how hard I push or work. I know that sometimes we need time to evolve. Sometimes standing still is the best thing we can do for ourselves, but sometimes we need to fight our way out of our shell.
I realized that even though I've dealt with some of my past traumas, I've only dealt with recent events. I never really dug deeper. I never wanted to because it terrified me; inner child me doesn't want to go there.
Most days I feel solid and strong. I feel clear and like I can feel the immensity of the Universe pulsing through me, but there is so much I wasn't seeing.
I need that change. I need to work through my past or I will continue spiraling in place when my spirit longs to soar upward.
Death promises that change, but it won't be easy. I need to go through those events, one at a painful time. I need to examine them. I need to process them so they can't hurt me anymore.
I realized that the pure joy of childhood is something I don't remember. I don't know how to play. I lost that somewhere along the way and it's so very important. I hope that my taking myself through the steps (I recommend, "Change Your Story, Change Your Life" by Carl Greer) that I will clear out the old pain of childhood and rediscover the pleasure of play.
Anyone up for a game of frisbee golf?